However, even in cities it remains a very family-oriented culture.
Extended family gatherings with meals are common — many families may participate in such get-togethers every week. Grandparents traditionally live with the family of the eldest son.
Extended family networks offer Palestinian families the social safety net that is not provided by governments. Whether helping a student with tuition, ensuring a relative is well-cared for in retirement, or supporting a family member who is unemployed, facing medical expenses, or living with disabilities, extended families are the backbone of Palestinian welfare. Often Palestinians in the diaspora send vital financial support for family members back in Palestine.
Another manifestation of the family-centered nature of society is that family members are traditionally expected to keep internal family conflicts private. The traditional culture is patriarchal in values and orientation, with the male head of the family exercising greatest authority. Among contemporary Palestinians this varies considerably with urban and more highly educated classes apt to have a more typically modern outlook, similar to others of their social class internationally. Elders of both genders are accorded great respect and authority.
Births
When a baby is born, the weeks following are full of visitors coming to see the new baby and the child’s parents. Since the parents of many young couples live nearby, the baby’s grandparents are likely to be present as well. When family, friends and neighbors stop by, the baby’s parents or grandparents will likely offer them a cup of coffee or tea and a bowl of mughli — a traditional rice powder pudding made with caraway and cinnamon and topped with fresh nuts.
Qutaiba’s proud grandfather in Al-Rashaydeh village, Palestine.
In Muslim families, the parents are likely to hold a celebratory feast for guests, usually of lamb, when a child is seven days old, similar to a baby shower but held after the birth. In Christian families, babies are usually baptized in church during their early months and family and friends are invited for a celebratory meal after this religious sacrament.
The oldest son traditionally names his own firstborn son after his father — that is, the child’s grandfather. Thus, in contrast to the tradition in the U.S., a male family given name skips a generation.
Many people refer to their friends and brothers as Abu, followed by the name of the man’s first-born son. Abu means ‘father of,’ and is often used as a nickname. Likewise, mothers are referred to as Um which means the ‘mother of,’ followed by the name of her eldest son. When the couple have no children, the wife may be referred to as Um followed by her father-in-law’s given name, and the husband is called by Abu followed by his father’s name.
Palestinians tend to raise their children with more freedom from strict daily schedules and structures in comparison to contemporary child-rearing practices in the U.S.
In more conservative communities, most Muslim girls begin to cover their hair when they reach puberty. There are also many Muslim women who choose not to wear a hijab. The practice of veiling the face in addition to the hair declined among Palestinian women through much of the 20th century, with the exception of Bedouins, although it is still practiced by some, particularly in rural areas.
Weddings and marriage
Families play a major part in arranging most marriages in Gaza and the West Bank. After identifying a good match, a family will give the couple time to get to know each other and decide whether they want to move forward with getting married. In urban areas and in the diaspora, nowadays, there are also many couples making their own decisions, with the blessing of their families.
Historically, marriage to cousins was once common. Polygamous marriages are rare among Muslim Palestinians, except among some Bedouin communities. As Palestine does not have a civil marriage option, marriage law follows the religious faith of the couple.
According to Palestinian tradition, once a couple agrees to marry, the prospective groom offers the bride a maher, a symbolic amount of money and valuables that can be compared to the practice of giving a dowry or a diamond ring in other cultures.
A wedding set-up in the Balata Refugee Camp, Nablus, Palestine
Most families hold the engagement party at their home, and celebrate with their guests with food and dancing. Weddings are grand affairs in Palestinian culture. The groom’s family traditionally hosts a wedding feast the day before the main wedding party. The female family members all pitch in to create an array of traditional dishes like roasting a whole lamb and serving it with rice.
Palestinian wedding celebrations can stretch over multiple days and include almost the whole community. The wedding celebrations usually start the night before with a henna night. The bride’s family and her friends gather for a joyous night of singing, dancing, and a henna artist is brought in to give guests the traditional temporary tattoos. Men will have their own party on that night where they sing different songs and dance dabke.
On the day of the wedding ceremony, guests carry the bride in a procession to the groom’s house to begin the celebration. Guests gather in living rooms and other available spaces. Some weddings have so many guests in attendance that they take place in public areas like the town square.
For the wedding ceremony, the bride typically wears a white gown, as in the West. Following the wedding, the couple embark on a honeymoon. Although contemporary urban couples will likely move into their own home, according to traditional village custom the couple moves into the home of the groom.
Funerals
When a death occurs, guests visit the family of the deceased to pay their respects and reflect on the deceased person’s life while drinking black coffee, served unsweetened for the occasion. It is customary for families to remain in mourning for 40 days, during which time family members wear black.
Muslims believe the body of the deceased should be buried within 24 hours and placed in the ground, facing toward Mecca. Guests pray for the soul of the deceased person during the burial. Afterward, the bereaved family usually hosts a meal and opens their home for three days for guests to visit and share their condolences.
Holidays
Palestinians begin the new year on January 1. And, like much of the world, Palestinians celebrate International Workers’ Day, also known as May Day or Labor Day, on May 1. Although not an official holiday, many Palestinians commemorate Palestinian expulsion and loss of land on Nakba Remembrance Day on May 15. Palestinian Independence Day and the International Day of Solidarity with the Palestinian People take place in November. Independence day is a public holiday in Palestine, commemorating the declaration of independence proclaimed, if not achieved, in 1988. Schools, government offices and many businesses close.
A family in Deir El Balah, Gaza gathers around for an iftar.
For Palestinian Muslims, each year is also marked by Islamic holidays, which follow the lunar calendar. These include the holy month of Ramadan, when believers fast during the day and offer Zakat to aid the poor, and Eid Al Fitr, marking the end of Ramadan, Eid Al Adha (the Feast of Sacrifice), the Islamic new year and the birthday of the Prophet Muhammad. Palestinian Christians observe their religious holidays, including Easter and Christmas, according to the liturgical calendar of their church (for instance, the Eastern Orthodox Church observes the Julian calendar).
Source: Anera
